This is always a hard subject to speak about. Believe it or not, even someone like me who has found satisfaction in life still gets haunted by his past demons.
I think it all started when I was bullied at school. Getting smacked about by someone three times your size can do a real job on your confidence. On top of that back then I was quiet and therefore lonely as I didn’t make friends easily.
I had got to the stage where I was afraid to go out the door. No real reason just a feeling of impending doom if I went outside. I spent summers at home afraid of going outside. It was borderline agoraphobia.
And then I thought about it one day… Properly. What was I afraid of? Being different? Look at every cool person on this planet for a second they are as different and eccentric as you can get. They set the trends not follow them.
So I went out and thought F*** everybody and it worked. The sky didn’t fall and I didn’t die from too much fresh air. I even went a bit further and decided to talk to random people. Small things like ask the time or directions maybe pay the person a small compliment or make small talk when waiting in a queue. Do you know what happened? people smiled.
It’s amazing how people respond when you make small talk or ask about them in a general non-intrusive way.
Rule 1: People love talking about themselves.
It’s true even depressives like me. I loved talking to people about my problems in hope of finding help. Yea sometimes people want quietness but the general rule is people want to talk about themselves.
Use this to your advantage and also to theirs. You will help and encourage them and also make friends.
So you see by getting out and sticking two fingers up to my depression, loneliness and paranoia my fears were proved wrong.
So many successful businessmen and women are able to talk to people. Before you say you can’t talk to people your wrong. Talking is a skill and skills are learned not magically given.
Every person that is good at conversation had to start somewhere and that somewhere was hello.
Just remember baby steps and one at a time… Noone became a sprinter overnight.